disappointment hurts

everyday is learning, most of the time you see only the good things and seldom bad. but when the bad things happen u feel bad, angry or even disappointed.
the last few months, weeks something was bothering my mind. I wish i am not me and be someone else, i wish i am hard and selfcentered. Why I am me?
Why???
sometimes i am vocal with my feelings yet limited in pointing out the people who hurts me and make me disappointed cause i care and protect them.

sometimes u want to talk to the closest person u know and ask for comfort and lend his/her shoulder to cry on - then u only get discomfort bcause this person do not understand u, he walks slowly away while u r preparing ur best version of words, u were able to say half of the essay and there u were alone talking to urself...ur version was not so important to other people.., then the buckets of patience and goodness become overfull i become a "schizophren-like" a monster.

oh holy cow! pls help me to become a witch, make my heart hard and care no one but myself.

i am so disappointed and its paining my soul.

Give me more strength and patience

Oh holy ghost, please give me more patience and lots of strengths to carry on and be of help to those who are in need before me. Please guide him or them to realise. Do not take me for granted beco'z I am just living and working here simply to have a comfortable life.
Pagkapait...gabayi ko sa akong misyon niining kalibutan sa mga buhi nga akong nahimutangan.

In the name of my mother, my lolas, my lolos, my father and those who had their journey before me...Pls let the sun shine on me.